Friday, December 19, 2008

Keeping the YOU in Yuletide

The holiday season can be a time of great joy, connection and celebration. And if you find yourself feeling the warmth of the season, you are lucky.

Many, though, do not find the holidays a time for celebration. Family strife, financial woes, traumatic memories and even loneliness can make the season dark, not bright.

If you are having a rough time as the holidays approach, keeping YOU in this Yuletide Season may help.

1     Put yourself first.
2.    Don't over-schedule your time.
3.    Keep a limit on spending.
4.    Avoid triggers that set old traumas into motion.
5.    Focus on what you can control.
6.    Choose to do things you want to do, not have to do.
7.    Keep expectations realistic.
8.    Don't be afraid to delegate or ask for what you need.
9.    Live in the present and future, resist the memories of the past.
10.  Find beauty in things around you.

And if you find yourself struggling, reach out and get help.


Ms.L said...

Very good advice!

Dr. Deb said...

Hey thanks, Ms. L!

Awake In Rochester said...

That's a good list. Since I'm broke I'm not going to celibate Christmas that much. It's probably an excuse, because I don't handle large groups well. So I don't tend to like parties.

OHN said...

These are great.

I wonder how many people still have the child like expectations and feel the letdown after the Christmas morning chaos.

I always wonder if everyone else is happy and tend to forget that I don't need to be responsible for everyone else :)

Grumpy Old Man said...

Think of yourself first?

I question that one. In the Philokalia, the great compendium of monastic wisdom, there is much on the dangers of self-esteem.

Questioning one's self=esteem is necessary for metanoia-change of mind, sometimes translated "repentance."

Of course, "acedia," or sloth, despaiting of one's ability to make spiritual progress, is also a vice, to which I am prone.

Kahless said...

Thank Deb. No. 6 and 10 are important to me.

traci said...

I appreciate this list very much. Thank you Deb. Merry Christmas to you and yours. You are a gift to me most certainly.

Casdok said...

Christmas can be a tricky time for us, but over the years i have perfected our 'alternatice' christmas.
Merry Christmas to you!

kath said...

I need one of those candles.....

or does it come in a spray :P

Palmtreechick said...

Merry Christmas to you, Dr. Deb!!

I had to make my blog private, so if you want to read, shoot me an email

Anonymous said...

GREAT thoughts. We all sometimes create that tunnel vision.
I always like the analogy from the Airline Safety Service:
"Put your own mask on first"
Happy Holidays.

Teresa said...

Great list especially about the past and focusing on the now and future.

Carrie said...

Thanks for the reminder. As my friend says "Carrie, the holidays are always bad for you!" Perhaps this year will be different?

Mezo said...

nice and simple

Marj aka Thriver said...

What a wonderful list of suggestions. The holiday edition of THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE is now up at my blog. Thanks for joining us for this edition, Deb! There are some healthy ideas in the special holiday category of posts. Check it out!

Ian Lidster said...

Good items of advice, Deb. You always come through. Wonderful Christmas to you and yours.

Amy said...

Thanks for the good advice! I needed a good doctor this season! :)

Jade said...

Hope you and yours have a wonderfully peaceful and smile filled holiday Deb. Thanks again for another year of friendship and great information! :-)

Dr. Deb said...

Dear Ms. L,
I think it's good to take care of yourself and not get too lost in family/friend drama.

I shy away from large parties too.

I think there are a few who hold high expectations. I joke a good deal of the time saying my expectations are always "low". Then I am never disappointed ;)

Well, yes, for those who put others first. Who have the please-disease, it is important to take care of yourself first. I tend to sloth around at times too ;)

SO glad you found meaning in these.

Wishing you a peaceful serenity at this time of year as well.

You are inspiring on so many levels.

It is pretty. I found it surfing candle images. I wish it had a link! Happy Christmas to you and yours.

Will email you...

Strong one,
YEs, we can't be strong unless we put our mask on first. Good analogy!

Now and tomorrow are withing are grasp. Yesterday and the past are way beyond our control.

I hope a new tradition of goodness will start this year for you.

I am a minimalist at heart, I think.

BEst wishes to you and yours. I will come over ASAP.

And to you, my friend.

So glad you visited.

Hoping you have a great holiday and that your 2009 will be a year that will bring you continue strength, illumination and happiness.

Ellen said...

Thank you for this post. And for being there for your readers all year round. May your holidays be filled with peace and contentment.

Cheers, EVI

S'onnie said...

Thanks for the good advice. Wishing you and your family a safe and happy christmas perio :)

Awake In Rochester said...

Very good! I had something happen that could have triggered depression, but for the most part It didn't. I have a theory that I'll share with you if I have a depression free winter. ;o)