Stalking, the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing of another person, can happen to any of us - no matter age, gender, race, socio-economic status or geographic location. According to data in the United States, 1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime.
Although significant attention has been devoted to adult perpetrators and victims of stalking, there is persuasive evidence that stalking begins at a much younger age. Research suggests that stalking traits begin in childhood and have developmental issues related to attachment, identity formation, and emotional states involving jealousy, envy, and anger. It is important to note that a person who stalks can be someone you know or can be a total stranger.
Things To Do : No one ever deserves to be a victim of a stalker. Every situation that involves stalking is different, but there are a few guidelines to follow if you feel you are a victim of a stalker.
* Convey to the stalker that you wish to have no contact with him/her. It is important not to continue communicating this more than one time. If you do, you are reinforcing the unhealthy attachment.
* Inform friends, family and your employer or school of the situation.
* Inform your local police department that you are a victim of a stalker. This is important to do even if you don't intend to file charges. A record will be created which will serve as a paper trail should you need one.
* Document the situation in which you have seen or had any type of contact with the stalker. This can be done in a personal diary or journal. Save all letters, emails, voice mails or text messages for record keeping.
* Change your phone number, cell phone number, email address, website or blog, if necessary. Consider taking a self-defense class that can help you feel strong and become vigilant to your surroundings.
* Also document any other pertinent information such as car type, license plate number, physical description, etc. These steps can help you if the situation escalates into something more dangerous.
Additional Steps:
* File for a restraining or protective order. Information on filing can be obtained from your local police department.
* Create a contingency plan. You may not think that you are in imminent danger, but the possibility still exists. Your local police or domestic violence center may be able to assist you with a more specific plan.
* Have a list of critical telephone numbers on hand like the local police, friends, family domestic violence centers, campus security, attorney, shelters etc.
* Have a necessities bag. A small suitcase you can keep at work, school, your car, or at a friend's house just in case you choose not to go home.
* Always make sure you're never low on gas in your car.
* Take preventative measures to protect yourself from the stalker. Vary your routine. Don't do the same activities at the same time every day. For example, go to work a little earlier than usual or take different route home.
* Have co-workers, roommates and family members screen phone calls and visitors.
* If possible, do not travel alone.
Although significant attention has been devoted to adult perpetrators and victims of stalking, there is persuasive evidence that stalking begins at a much younger age. Research suggests that stalking traits begin in childhood and have developmental issues related to attachment, identity formation, and emotional states involving jealousy, envy, and anger. It is important to note that a person who stalks can be someone you know or can be a total stranger.
Things To Do : No one ever deserves to be a victim of a stalker. Every situation that involves stalking is different, but there are a few guidelines to follow if you feel you are a victim of a stalker.
* Convey to the stalker that you wish to have no contact with him/her. It is important not to continue communicating this more than one time. If you do, you are reinforcing the unhealthy attachment.
* Inform friends, family and your employer or school of the situation.
* Inform your local police department that you are a victim of a stalker. This is important to do even if you don't intend to file charges. A record will be created which will serve as a paper trail should you need one.
* Document the situation in which you have seen or had any type of contact with the stalker. This can be done in a personal diary or journal. Save all letters, emails, voice mails or text messages for record keeping.
* Change your phone number, cell phone number, email address, website or blog, if necessary. Consider taking a self-defense class that can help you feel strong and become vigilant to your surroundings.
* Also document any other pertinent information such as car type, license plate number, physical description, etc. These steps can help you if the situation escalates into something more dangerous.
Additional Steps:
* File for a restraining or protective order. Information on filing can be obtained from your local police department.
* Create a contingency plan. You may not think that you are in imminent danger, but the possibility still exists. Your local police or domestic violence center may be able to assist you with a more specific plan.
* Have a list of critical telephone numbers on hand like the local police, friends, family domestic violence centers, campus security, attorney, shelters etc.
* Have a necessities bag. A small suitcase you can keep at work, school, your car, or at a friend's house just in case you choose not to go home.
* Always make sure you're never low on gas in your car.
* Take preventative measures to protect yourself from the stalker. Vary your routine. Don't do the same activities at the same time every day. For example, go to work a little earlier than usual or take different route home.
* Have co-workers, roommates and family members screen phone calls and visitors.
* If possible, do not travel alone.
* Have an alarm system installed in your car and your home. Also consider setting up video surveillance system at home. Many alarm companies offer this and can make the installation affordable.
For more links go to Stalking Resources and the Stalking Resource Center
References
McCann, J.T. (2000). Stalking in children and adolescents: The primitive bond. Washington: APA Books.
Meloy, J. R. (1998). The psychology of stalking: Clinical and forensic perspectives. New York: Academic Press.
Pathe, M. (2002). Surviving stalking. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
References
McCann, J.T. (2000). Stalking in children and adolescents: The primitive bond. Washington: APA Books.
Meloy, J. R. (1998). The psychology of stalking: Clinical and forensic perspectives. New York: Academic Press.
Pathe, M. (2002). Surviving stalking. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
