Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How To Ask For Help


Asking for help can be easy for some, and painfully tough for others. There are many myths that tend to keep others from asking support or assistance. Here are a few:

Myth: Asking for help makes us look vulnerable.
Truth: Asking for help actually creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.


Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us feeling secure.
Truth: In reality, not allowing yourself to be "known" actually keeps you socially isolated, and therefore, insecure. When you seek the counsel of others, you'll not only connect with them, but you'll also realize that you're not alone in your struggle.


Myth: Asking help bothers others.
Truth: We are hardwired for caregiving - and most people find it meaningful to help when asked if it's within the margins of their abilities to do so.

Myth: Highly successful people never ask for help.
Truth: Actually, successful individuals will tell you that the key to success is knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Learning how to delegate, asking for help and letting others show you the way are part of the plan. Successful people are driven and motivated -- and when the going gets tough, the tough ask for help!



When it comes to asking for help, remember to: 

Have realistic expectations for the kind of help you are seeking

Express your needs simply and clearly

Let others know you are there to help them as well

Praise your pals for their assistance and pat yourself for asking for help



5 comments:

S'onnie said...

I have always struggled to ask for help and even with people who I know would help me in a second I just always feel like I am being a pain if I ask for help so I don't.

Nancy said...

Good post. I see you are still blogging Debbie. Someone I know started a new blog and it made me revisit mine. I clicked the links and you are one of few left or current. Hope all is well with you. Been a long time. Have a nice Sunday. :)

Regards,
Nancy Epstein

In case you forgot who I am.....

Dr. Deb said...

S'onnie,
It's so important to push through those feelings of unworthiness. Being able to ask and feel deserving of help is a hard thing to learn, but I know you can do it. And if someone makes you feel like you are a pain for asking, then they're not the go-to person for you.

Nancy,
So great to see you here. Blogging, which was once the be all end all of social media, is less a focus for me, but I do still tend to my blog. I know many have left things for Twitter FB, Instagram etc, but I just can't leave my little spot on blogger unattended. Thanks for stopping by. Bet the kids are giant now!

owuogba nathan said...

Personally, i do find it really difficult to ask for help- the reason being that , i don't being a burden to anyone- but i must confess here, it is really a bad attitude. My angel helped me to overcome it. majority of us stay away from asking because of those myths listed above- thanks goodness they are mere myths, we can now go ahead and try. Thanks Dr Deb for great post.

Bruce Laister said...

Great post!
I like the truth / myth format.