I don't do it often.I'm not that glib or quick on my feet.
But there are times when I slam a sarcastic zinger and it makes its mark. And yet, there are other times when my well-crafted, acerbic words fall flat.
Nada. Nothing. A total dud.
I used to think that it was my delivery. Or that the other person wasn't listening to me. But what research has shown is that others need to be on the same social wavelength when the wisecracks fly. Moreover, the ability to comprehend sarcasm relies on a specific sequence of language, social and cognitive skills that rapidly flow in our mind. So alot has to happen in the neuropathways of the brain for sarcasm to hit its target. That is why the processing of social information can be difficult for some.
Read more here and leave me alone, already.
Shamay-Tsoory, S., Tomer, R., & Aharon-Peretz, J. (2005). The Neuroanatomical Basis of Understanding Sarcasm and Its Relationship to Social Cognition. Neuropsychology, 19 (3), 288-300 DOI: 10.1037/0894-4105.19.3.288
29 comments:
I have always believed that when people are sarcastic and rude - it truly is a sign of their own insecurities.
It is the same with teasing. Why do people tease? Good post idea :)
Sarcasm is hostility and aggression housed in wit. It definitely can underscore insecurity. I know for me, it is a way to confront without r-e-a-l-l-y confronting. Teasing is a whole other thing. Though closely related, teasing's main issue is to humiliate. Sarcasm can do that, but it can also communicate feelings that are hard to express. " Like, I am hurt." "You are ignoring me," etc.
Yes, teasing is to humiliate that is for sure, but why do people do it? :)
"Yeah. Nice post."
(hehe) JUST KIDDING.
Ever notice online when someone pokes fun of something or a person or teases---and if the "JK" isn't included, it's of a serious nature?
I could be quite sarcastic, but not intentionally to make someone feel stupid or to hurt someone. I guess technically, I'm a teaser? (Ohh that doesn't sound better, does it!)
:|
Now I'm quite disgruntle.
I always learn something interesting on your site! I think I use sarcasm in a similarly to you (that seems like bad grammar?).
I like your comparison of sarcasm and teasing.
This is so interesting! I once saw a contest asking for new words, and a word that struck me was "sarchasm," or, a sarcasm that the recipient is unable to get.
I don't know. When I tease, I mean to be affectionate. (My wife, mom, and brother all have times and topics that are off-limits, however, and I have learned to respect them.) I know I use sarcasm a *lot*, and I get told that I'm particularly "funny" when I'm depressed or angry. I end up having to really dial myself back.
I grew up in a family of teasers and practioners of sarcastic humor. I know other ways to love and to confront, but those are the ones I know best.
Think I'll be reading a printout of that article on the bus tomorrow.
Ahh so there may be an actual reason that I am not very good at the sarcasm. haha. Very interesting. I think I make dumb jokes when I am nervous, but I guess that is not quite the same thing.
Angel
i use sarcasm al lteh time i have a t shirt that says "sarcasm is the only service i offer" underneath it lies for women who take no crap.
I like being sarcastic its who i am but alas not all people share my dry "sorry i wasnt listening i was instead watching your lips walk across my lawn" approach oh well thats life
Sa'de
Deb, I am proud / humiliated to admit that I enjoy sarcasm. It is one of my favorite forms of humor. I guess I have a lot of work to do.
Well, I'm not even going to read that article right now. My former therapist used to tell me that my sarcasm was a protective mechanism for me. I know she was right. I must say, however, that I haven't felt too sarcastic lately because the depression is big. Very. Big. I think I'll know it's lifting when the sarcasm returns...sigh...
Thanks for the interesting post. I know a lot of people who speak sarcastically all the time. Sometimes it seems like it is the only way they know how to speak.
Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now. I am in a house full of testosterone fueled sarcastic wit and have had to learn under fire.
There is a huge difference between nasty sarcasm and the loving sarcasm in my family. We don't hurt each other, we just laugh together.
Honestly, my oldest is a political sponge and absorbs every news bite from every political source, written and audio and some of his comments (in response to some of the "news") are hysterical.
None of us is ever sarcastic to anyone outside of our close knit family and friends....I would imagine that random sarcastic comments, to the general public are what you are talking about.
I am a nice person..honestly :)
"Verrrrrrrrrrrry interesting...!"
Sorry, channeling my inner Arte Johnson, I guess!
Often as not when I "miss" it's because I've referenced some obscurity that no one else picks up on (see above).
Thanks for the smile and for the kind words the other day!
alan
Having lived in Boston for half my life, I feel like I am nothing but sarcastic! It just the way we are over here... Must be the weather. :/
Yeah, and if you grew up with it, you might HATE it. So even if you get it, you cringe. It's not true, in other words, that what doesn't kill necessarily you makes you stronger.
What an interesting topic! I think it's great that there is science to back it up. I used to work in an environment where sarcasm is king - a newsroom. Am I glad I survived those years!
I've learned something new today. I also got a laugh. Thank you.
I'm the well-crafted, acerbic individual and if my zingers fall flat--
--which are rarely delivered with or contain anything other than a comedic insinuation and/or observation, that is unless you are an insulting jag-off who needs to be creatively put in their place in a way that only the well-crafted, acerbic one-liner can make said jag-off go home and realize only 4 hours later, once their head hits the pillow, that they have indeed been insulted--well, if those comments fall flat, I don't really have a problem with that as long as I understand the insinuation. Sad, but true.
In fact, some of my friends call me Karen b/c I remind them so much of Karen Walker from Will & Grace, sans the alcoholic implications b/c I don't drink. However, the majority of my sarcasm is intended to highlight my own behaviors and proclivities. And I don't enjoy sarcasm in that it is much more mean-spirited, envious, hostile and cheap, while acerbic wit, not so much.
But that's just me...
So, I'm sure many of you are reading this and thinking: geez jenji, we didn't ask you all that--
and my response: I wasn't talking to you.
jenji
I hate to admit it but when I'm upset I can be very sarcastic,which totally opposite my normal personality.
I tend to be cynical and sarcastic. I'm working on both of those.
The brain research is interesting. I remember when my son first was able to understand metaphors, sarcasm, etc. I remember saying a lot, "It's just an expression" to explain.
I am never sarcastic. ;-)
I'm a big fan of sarcasm, and use it quite a bit, especially in therapy. :)
Periodically I have been able to get in a zinger that left me fully satisfied.
Once, when I was serving on a board and had made a comment, another board member, a smartass lawyer said: "I love how you journalists get the opinions of two people and then present an idea as being the truth, when all it is is two opinions."
I replied: "You mean sort of like how a lawyer calls up an 'expert witness' to validate an argument?"
"Ouch,' said another board member.
I felt great.
Every now and then I can be a little sarcastic. But I know it is because I always try to be nice and sometimes people take it for weakness.
was there not a study recently showing sarcasm as one way to determine some kind of dementia?
when i tease, 'humiliation' is not even on my radar :(
we ahve an award fro you on our blog
sarcasm
guilty
But, it is only confrontational and/or mean if it is directed TO the person with whom you are speaking. For instance, if two of us at work are discussing say, the administration, we will be sarcastic. Impossible to avoid. We will also be breaking the long list of rules as we are forbidden to use sarcasm at work, lest one of the kids hear us and not understand. Doubt that matters since most of the kids in our population function at levels under 3 yrs of age, but they like rules.
Anyway, if I am sarcastic towards a person I am speaking with... yep. Mean and confrontational-ish.
Sarcasm is, in my opinion as useful as any other form of communication. But what do I know, lol. I appreciate it :)
I can be sarcastic at times and I completely am aware that it is masked hostility and aggression.
I've been working hard to not be sarcastic. It's a full time job!
It's very damaging to those on the recieving end.
I agree with the poster that says it's a sign of insecurities. Bingo! Try confronting a sarcastic person sometime and you'd be amazed at what happens, they will more than likely run with their tails between their legs.
I even went so far as to fire a physician because of his sarcasm.
After repeated attempts at direct communication with the fellow failed, I left a message with a staff member telling them that he was a sarcastic ass which I understand clearly because I myself can be a sarcastic ass. Sarcasm is a very VERY unhealthy form of communication.
It's a high intelligence superiority trip as well.
Well folks let's get over it!
For those of you that do not have the gift of regularly delivering sarcastic zingers, feel blessed. It's much better to be laying awake at night thinking "I wish I had said that." Than it is to be thinking "omg I can't believe I said that."
I only tease people when their bubble needs popping. And they know I am doing it. And why.
I tease myself in front of others more often than I tease others. I think it is a "guy" thing. (The old jokes...man talking to bartender..."If I didn't wear a pork chop around my neck, not even my dog would play with me. I tell ya, without that viagra, I would't even be able to play with myself! My wife and I decided that the best thing to keep our relationship together is to take a vacation every summer. I go to Reno and she goes to Paris. (insert rim shots as required...)
I don't tease other people very often since generally I don't feel the urge to change the world and the people in it. The "zinger" seems to have a very limited lifetime, and people have long memories. I have people from high school (30 years ago or more!) who STILL won't talk to me because I just had to get that "zinger" in at the time.
Sarcasm is not in my repertoire. I am not good at it. I am such a guy...I prefer to say what I mean. "Everything all right dear" "Its FINE!" "Okay then, just checking." "No everything is NOT fine" "But you just said everything is fine" "You dope! Don't you know when I say everything is FINE its anything BUT fine!" And so it starts....
Ah well, a moment's kindness will be felt for, well, a moment. A moment's unkindness will be felt for a decade.
Sarcasm can be a good and healthy release, while other times it can be hurtful if used too much and in harsh ways. As with all things, moderation is the key. Seems that there are a range of witty and ascerbic bloggers in the blogosphere!
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