Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Moving Through A Difficult Anniversary Date



"Anniversary Effect", sometimes called Anniversary Reaction, is defined as a unique set of unsettling feelings, thoughts or memories that occur on the anniversary of a significant experience.

Sometimes you can trace the reason why you're feeling sad, irritable or anxious. One look at the calendar and you connect the dots from your current emotional state to the traumatic event. For example, the birthday of someone who's no longer alive, the date of an accident, a natural disaster or a miscarriage, just to name a few.

Sometimes finding the Anniversary Effect isn't as easy to trace because the event doesn't have a time-specific relationship. It may be more of a seasonal experience. For example, Autumn reminds you of when your child left for college, or a hot humid day reminds you of the time you signed your divorce papers. Or for me, the sounds of Christmas music on the radio takes me back to the trauma of a botched robbery that nearly took my life.

Anniversary Reactions signal that you are still working on moving through the trauma of your experience. It is often a normal part of the grieving process.


What You Can Do


1. Make sure you take time to glance at a calendar each month - and explore dates and memories attached to such dates. This framework can help prepare you for the possibility of an Anniversary Reaction.

2. The anniversary date is not the only day that you might feel out of sorts. Remind yourself that days or weeks leading up to an anniversary date - and even ones after, may be tough ones for you.

3. Anniversaries of public trauma, crises or disasters receive significant media coverage. Often, media outlets revisit distressing imagery. Limit your watching of TV, reading of newspapers and visiting Internet news sites around those dates.

4. Express your memories and feelings when an Anniversary Effect happens. You can do this by talking with a family member or friend, journaling, blogging or finding creative ways to express your inner experiences.

5. Make sure you take good care of yourself during these times. Self-care, support and comfort will help ground you as you move through trauma.

6. If you find that you're struggling with your trauma, remember that you're not alone. Loss affects each of us differently, so don't put a time limit on your grief. If you feel overwhelmed or cannot navigate successfully through your Anniversary Reaction, consider seeking the counsel of a trauma specialist.


2 comments:

S'onnie said...

Thanks for this it is a very topical blog for me as I hit the one year anniversary of my best friend passing away, her birthday in just a couple of weeks. Its been a bit of a horrible time as I remember all the plans we had for our birthdays this year.. as we are only a month apart... and hit our 40th this year.

Ronnie said...

What makes it really hard is when an anniversary encompasses several months. That is what is happening with me now!