Monday, June 08, 2009

Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry


I just heard an expression the other day.

Emotional Vampires - Psychological slang for the kind of person who sucks the life out of you because they demand so much.

Click here to learn more and to find tips to help ward off these behaviors if you have vampire tendencies. There's also compassionate suggestions to deal with those who drain you dry. No garlic needed.






22 comments:

Ms.L said...

That was really interesting.
I esecially liked all her quizzes,good stuff!

phd in yogurtry said...

I am going to use my extra-sensory energy to direct a few people I know over to Dr. O's site.

CrackerLilo said...

Oh, interesting. I know several of these. Am related to several of these, and try to resist it in myself.

I first encountered the term "psychic vampire" or "emotional vampire" when I first began to study Wicca, 12-13 years ago. Until very recently, I only ever heard magickians of various stripes use it. It tickles me to see the term go more mainstream. It's really a universal concept.

Dr. Deb said...

I've never heard of the term before, but then again I'm pretty cloistered away in my practice.

Xmichra said...

indeed, emotional vampires. I have seen my share. Funny that it is becoming common place, since I had heard it as a satanic phrase...lol... not that I am a satanist (thought i should clarify!). I have a copy of the devils dictionary, and Anton LaVey is mentioned for making the term up (even though he wrote his saanic bible well after the phrase was used in multiple other areas like wicca). I like the dictionary though, it is quite funny.

Health Psych said...

No garlic..how about a stake?

Emotional vampire? That's quite a common phrase in the UK.

S'onnie said...

Interesting. its good to see the different ways you can deal with it without just shutting out the person from your life :)

jumpinginpuddles said...

hmmm for us we dont see anyone anymore it sure alleviates the BS

mrwriteon said...

I was married to an emotional vampire. If you let them they will destroy your soul.

STAG said...

there MUST be a psychological term for that mode of behavior. (I hesitate to call such a widespread behavior a "condition" since it infests most people to a greater or lesser extent.) Its not "quite" toxic game playing. Oh well, I will just have to go over to Dr. O's site and find out won't I!!!

(I thought it was Gardner in his "Letters" which originated the term...but during the great period of spiritualism starting in the late 1900's there were many influential and observant people seeking answers, and occasionally providing them. Phrenologists come to mind. As do Blavatsky, Gardner, LaVey and others worthy of study. If only to see how a con artist works...grin!)

Kahless said...

Phew, I am not a vampire!

jenji said...

Oy! Great post, Deb.

I have a couple of friends who were/are emotional vampires and some of us just couldn't take it anymore, while others devised and stuck to some personal boundaries to get by without severing the friendship.

However, when they're in your family it's a bit more complicated and it's funny that you should bring this subject up b/c I went on a creative rant about emotional vampires in one of my blog posts a few months ago. Check it out if you like.

http://jenjiworld.blogspot.com/
2009/03/freedom.html

Boundaries are quite liberating.

best,
jenji

Lisa Marie said...

Hmm.. emotional vampire. Very Twilight-esque. If you had put a picture of Edward Cullen/Rob Pattinson I might have more to say ;)

LOL, very insightful read. Thanks!

Deb said...

Amen and amen. Emotional drainers aka "Debbie Downers". Not liking that it shares both of our names, but I have met too many of them...and try not to adapt to their ways.

Dreaming again said...

I first heard 'emotional vampire' when a therapist was trying to describe the effect my mother had on me ...

Awake In Rochester said...

Hey! Are you talking about me again?

Rose said...

This was good! I needed this today.....these kinds of people really drains me.

traci said...

I am married to one of these people. Ugh.

Tiptoe said...

That book Emotional Vampires is such a good look at different personalities. It really made me see how these people were behaving whether it was on a subconscious level or not.

In the end, we need to learn how to avoid emotionally draining people.

therapydoc said...

Brilliant, Deb. So needed, this post.

OHN said...

The older I have gotten, the easier it is for me to avoid these types of people. I don't feel the pressing need to be "loved" by all, like I did when I was younger.

I may have fewer friends but they are better friends :)

kath said...

I broke off a friendship with an older woman for this reason. For about 15 years she sucked my energy and left me emotionally drained. I don't think she realizes that she is doing it... and other people have stepped away from her. Sad..but I had to do it for me.

I do still feel guilty about it though :(