It's true that psychology studies the mind and behavior.
And it's true that psychologists tend to be good at understanding people.
But sometimes I just can't wrap my mind around such things...
I'm so down today.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Another School Shooting
It's true that psychology studies the mind and behavior.
And it's true that psychologists tend to be good at understanding people.
But sometimes I just can't wrap my mind around such things...
I'm so down today.
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30 comments:
So sad :(
Of all the things in the world, people are the most difficult to understand.
This stuff scares the hell out of me. I'm still trying to grapple about what happened to that NYC therapist who was murdered this week too. That makes me worried about my therapist.
I was horrified to read about another school shooting. I feel for the families that have lost a loved one.
Dear Guilty,
It is very sad.
Dear Lone,
Sometimes they are easy to understand, other times NOT.
Dear EVI,
I know. This local nyc story about the psychologist has taken on a national tone. I have a panic button, hopefully your T has one too. So important to have security.
Dear S'Onnie,
The families and friends must be numb. And the survivors and witnesses have so much healing to do. Sad...
~Deb
Hi Dr. Deb,
That's life. One can never really fathom all the deep recesses in the mind where all evil deeds originate. It is still the law of sowing and reaping. Whatever we sow in our mind, good or bad, that we will also reap, if not now, then in the near future.
Let us sow seeds of righteousness in our minds then. God bless you and your family always.
My theory.
So many young people were farmed out to day care and such so early in life.. Parents who worked long hours and forgot to raise their child, and forgot to spend time with them and the children never learned to love.. they are detached... they are narcissistic to the extreme.
I know that this is not a popular opinion.. I am not blaming the parents for the child shooting... I blame them for not giving enough time and love as he grew ? Just like every physical ailment has a root cause.. way down in there is the reason that we develop symptoms. We have to find the root cause to effect a cure. If we look way down inside these killing kids.. what would we find?? Or not find??
We had an incident nearby. Robert Morris University... Two boy died. Why do kids think that killing is the only way? No love. :(
So sa for So many.
Do you have an opinion on why this is happening more often than ever before? I am curious to what you think. I have an uneducated guess but don't know if its valid
Extremely tragic. Thoughts for those who have lost a loved one, for those who are injured and for anyone caught up in this. I can't imagine it would be an easy thing to get over.
Kath, plenty of children get put into day care without dire consequences. That argument is a huge, huge stretch for me.
There could be any number of reasons. Who knows what the truth behind this is? Maybe it will come out, probably it won't but I'm sure the parents must be suffering badly themselves right now.
This one has affected me more than any of the others, probably because it hit so close to home. I'm familiar with NIU, it's not that far away from Chicago and I've been there before. My friend's son goes to school there (thankfully he wasn't hurt and is safe at home). Had it happened a day later, a group from my daughter's school (people she's all friends with) would have been at the campus on a field trip.
My thoughts are with the victims, their families and their friends.
It is very scary, and very sad. I do not understand it at all. Every time this happens, i worry about my own sons who are in highschool. It makes me so anxious. Best thing i can do is to pray and hope that God will watch over the entire school and keep everyone safe.
Me neither, so so sad.
I have something for you if you would like to pop over to my place!
I'm sorry, but I have to say this, I think "Kathh" post was extremely ignorant.
I think it is sad about this shooting and I am going to college as we speak.
College students have their own pressures including peer pressure, getting good grades, studying, working, being HOME SICK if living in a dorm, feeling isolated, lonely, not wanted, and so on. College students drink big time and this could add to their depression or frustrations.
Parents are not to blame all the time. College students are adults and they do have their own problems in the "Adult world."
my sister, my niece and I all work with young children. The number of such kids we have seem that have been diagnosed with some sort of attachment disorder is startling. Those not diagnosed but showing the same behaviors is worrisome.
I work with special needs kids. I am not counting those among the kids with attachment disorders... I am counting only those that I saw when I worked daycare with my sister and niece.
But of course, I am not in college and do not have all the answers... I am simply an adult woman who has spent most of her life with children in some manner or another.
If I were 20-or 22 no doubt I would know more.
Love.. guidance and discipline are key to raising healthy children. Too often both parents work and the number of hours spent with the child by family members are shockingly small.
We are raising a second generation of children brought up by strangers. Far too many do not understand selflessness, compassion, or love. They have grown up fighting their way to the best seat, the best book, the best toy and the best cookie.
The children bite, push and hit.They throw food, toys and and tantrums.
Parents blame other kids, teachers and caregivers when there is a problem. If the child cant read,spell, add.. bad teacher. If the child is corrected in school? Teacher hates him
Parents. who feel guilty about spending so much time away from their children do not provide boundaries .. only excuses. The children learn this behavior and in their turn, blame and make excuses.
Life is hard. The universe does not revolve around any single child, no matter what the parents do to make it seem so. Reality will strike one day.. and the child can either cope or not.. and if they have not been taught or given the resources to cope? What then.
Older kids think life is hard if they have to study, work and do without the latest this or that. College students have always endured pressures... most likely more than many of the students today whose parents are helping them through school.
No excuses... parents need to be the most important influences in their children's lives. They dare not abdicate that job to strangers. Not if they want a child brought up with their values and morals and an ability to show integrity and honesty.
Good luck college girl... but then.. you won't need it will you? You already have all the answers, now that you are an adult.
It's sad and scary stuff. There are reports that this kid stopped taking his medication, but they won't say what the meds were or what his dx was.
It's definitely hard to understand when this sort of thing happens.
I sincerely doubt this is related to being raised in a daycare, as proposed by another commenter. So many children have spent a lot of time in daycare and did just fine.
I never said I had all the answers. I said, "Parents are not to blame all the time. College students are adults and they do have their own problems in the "Adult world."
We cannot always blame our parents for our actions all the time. We have choices.
Supposedly the shooter "went off his meds" and was erratic the past couple of weeks. I wonder if he felt (like many people on meds) as though he was 'cured' and didn't feel the need for the meds and as we all know that can be a vicious cycle. I can tell when my son has skipped doses but he can't tell. The changes I see are subtle and I probably notice them because I know him so well. After this happened I hugged my boys a little harder.
By the way, I am not a 20 year old college girl either. I am just as experienced as you are dear, I simply disagreed with your theory.
We all have our opinions about things. Even doctors and shrinks have their own opinions about things.
It's been reported in the press here that the perpetrator was an excellent, well-regarded student. Mention has been made of a possible relationship split but it's not confirmed. Then there was the mention of the person going off meds but with no details.
Dreaming Again was correct when he/she said there are a myriad of reasons that could be behind this.
I just don't buy the daycare argument at all That's my personal opinion and no swipe at Kath. My eldest sister went off the rails, the other 4 of us didn't. We come from a generation where mothers stayed home, there was no daycare for us. I know my parents did everything for us but still one of us had a totally different outcome. Moreover, the guy who did that was 27. Doesn't that also put him out of the childcare demographic?
Blaming the parents is an attactive option...having an easy scapegoat means we don't have to look at the wider issues. Easy, no?
In Australia, in Britain, when we hear of these things in the US, there's always a clamour to blame gun accessibility. However, it's happened in the UK, it's happened here at my university and both countries have tighter gun control. If there was a simple answer to all this, these events would have been addressed long ago.
Dream Writer, not Dreaming Again. Apologies...
I want to apologize if I offended anyone. Maybe the "i" word was a bit cruel and inconsiderate. And I truly apologize for that.
I guess I had a moment.
I do believe what I believe and I am not a 20 year old student, in fact I am a 40 year old student with four kids - the oldest being 23 years old. I am studying Psychology and have only a year and a half left...so even though I don't have all the answers, I do know a thing or two.
Once again, my apologies are sincere.
Oh my gosh! I didn't even hear about that one! It's sad when the world is so messed up that school massacres are now status quo and the media isn't making a big deal out of them. All I can think is that the 20+ kids in the past decade who have done the random mass killings then suicide are so out of touch with reality that they don't see that they are killing people or actually ending lives. Or maybe they are just evil.
Hi Dr. Deb,
It's difficult to make heads, or tails out of it. It's a sad situation. We never had school shootings years ago. Sorry that your down, but certainly understandable. Hope your A-OK soon.
I agree. I don't get why....
Reasoning people cannot reason through the unreasonable. So terribly tragic -- yet again.
Dear All,
I agree that there are many reasons that such things like this happen. Sadly, they seem to be happening more often.
I wish I could respond to each of your comments. Alas, I am just not up to it....
~Deb
Nothing ever happens in the Universe without a reason. Our biggest problem today is ignorance about the laws of the Universe. One of the greatest and most important law is 'Sow and Reap'. We cannot undo the past but can certainly have a better tomorrow if each of us begins to sow the seeds of what we want to reap tomorrow. We can only change the world by changing ourselves. The cause behind these kind of tragic incidents is mental illness which is related to our health. A step in the right direction would be to work toward better health, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Gurdip Hari
tragic...i can't help but wonder why these school shootings seem to be on the rise. In my parents generation, these weren't happening every week/month. Sad and so unexplainable...
This one hit me hard, too. I grew up not too far from NIU and I almost went to that school--went to another IL state-supported school instead.
I hope you're feeling better, Dr.Deb. Please stay safe.
Seems to me that in the past such incidents were rare. Now they are all too common. WTF is going on?
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